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Door #3

From InfoWars.com

A TSA “Behavioral detection” officer was sentenced to two years in prison on conspiracy charges Wednesday after being found guilty of providing information to suspected drug traffickers and helping them get past security checkpoints with minimum scrutiny.

Minnetta Walker was arrested last March by federal agents at Buffalo Niagara International Airport.

Investigators discovered that Walker had helped traffickers move large amounts of cash through the airport, escorting them through security lines, directing them away from the naked body scanners and patdown security lines, and ensuring their luggage bypassed screening areas.

Shucks, Minnetta deserves some kind of award for working the modern version of the underground railroad. I think a small bribe to get around the JBT assault gauntlet would be money well spent. Perhaps it can become an official option… the third line…
Door #1 subservience, humiliation and cosmic ray nudity
Door #2 subservience, humiliation and get felt up by perverts
Door #3 skip the above with sliding-scale bribe

I might consider flying again.