I called my daughter on her 33rd birthday. Okay, technically she married into the position, but for now that makes little difference. I was remembering to her that some years before reaching that age myself, I set a goal that I would be road racing at Sears Point and Laguna Seca by my 33rd year.
She replied that she has no goals, hopes or dreams.
Oh.
That sure got me thinking about it, only to realize it is all too common. Many folks get up, prepped, fed, through a drudgery-filled workday, home to dinner, watch television and off to bed having done nothing they enjoyed and nothing they valued. In her case, my grandchildren define her day.
Some of us just aren’t inclined to trod the rut. Accomplishments and pleasures come in many shapes and sizes, but certainly make an important part of every day, week and year.
The keyboardist in my band said she worked with her children each day. Once all of their shared chores and tasks were completed they would walk to grandma’s house – or go swimming – or strawberry picking – or crafts – or whatever. Her husband was envious of the fun he missed out. It seemed to him they were doing something interesting every day. They weren’t big events, but frequent, fun and rewarding.
There is a big difference, to those of us wired for sense of accomplishment, between buying a skirt in Wally-World and making one. We do-ers would rather spend two weeks building a shed than $1,800 buying a ready-made. The participators in life would rather play a lousy game of tennis than have a seat at Wimbledon.
Certainly everything I did or attempted did not work perfectly. But it has been a heck of a go. I hope she starts finding little (and big) pleasures in her life.
You too.